Lisanti Quarterly

A Far Too Easy Joke Arising From The All Star Game Introductions

A-Rod’s hug with Wade Boggs lingered a little too long. I fear they may be fucking behind Madonna’s back.

[sigh]

Truer words have rarely been tweeted. (Twittered?)

(posted with tweetshots.com)

Disappointingly, they didn’t make the cut for Rock Band 2. Maybe they’ll sneak in to a download song pack later.

Simple Jack, part of TuggSpeedman.com, as the Tropic Thunder promotional onslaught begins in earnest. Not bad, but what I really want to see is a behind-the-scenes featurette on Robert Downey Jr.’s character first, awkward conversation with his makeup artist about how the blackface is really necessary for his total inhabiting of the Kirk Lazarus role.

[via skeetonmischa]

"Great. So How Do You Suggest I Go About It?"

dietcock:

ONE MORE REASON WHY I’M CURRENTLY BETWEEN ASSIGNMENTS

Exec: …so basically, in the next draft, we’d like you to focus on making it feel more like a Warner Bros. movie.

Me: Ok.

Exec: I mean, we love what you’ve done so far, but it doesn’t really feel like a Warner Bros. movie. You need to make it feel more like a Warner Bros. movie.

Me: Great. So how do you suggest I go about it?

Exec: Just make it more like a Warner Bros. movie, you know?

Me: Right. But how so, exactly?

Exec: Well, right now it just doesn’t feel like a Warner Bros. kind of movie. You need to make it feel more like the kind of movie we’d make here at Warner Bros.

Me: But what does that entail? Are there specific criteria?

Exec: Not really… it just needs to be more like a Warner Bros. movie, that’s all.

Me: So something more along the lines of, say, POSEIDON? Or LADY IN THE WATER? Those are Warner Bros. movies — is that what you mean? Or were you thinking more like BEERFEST…?

Exec: (glares silently)

» It probably reveals a lot about my teenage years to note that the three Rock Band 2 songs I'm most excited about are Ratt's "Round and Round," Metallica's "Battery," and Testament's "Souls of Black"

[via soupsoup]

Finally, the late Cesar Romero might get the Oscar recognition he deserves for his hauntingly deranged portrayal of one of cinema’s most iconic villains.

[Dial B for Blog via paulscheer via /film]

» From the "I didn't see this one coming" file: My favorite critic (more or less) pans "The Dark Knight"

It’s Drunk History Day!

Amazing.

Old Spice RED ZONE swagger

The OFFICIAL SCENT of Confidence

Product warning: Do not under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES apply directly to the testes. Uncomfortable swelling may result.

» Am I bad for laughing at this?

No. (via antikris)

Lines I Am Thrilled I Was Not Foolish Enough To Have Joined Today:

The one outside the Apple store on the 3rd St. Promenade. In their defense, at least there are plenty of street musicians/jugglers/silver spray-painted dudes in top-hats pretending to be robots to entertain them as they wait.

Someecards always knows exactly what to say.

Some Possible Band Names Inspired By "The Wire"*

Shitbird

What the Fuck Did I Do?

Flaming Bunk

Stringer Bell

Can Full of Dead Hookers of Eastern European Extraction**

The Greek

Ziggy and the Incredible Alcoholic Ducks

Scrubbing Bubbles

White Mike & The Rock-Slinging Honkies

Omar’s Eviscerated Boytoy**

[*I’ve only made it through the first two seasons and the first portion of the third on DVD. Yes, I am a horrible person for waiting until the series was finished before deciding to jump on the bandwagon. ]

[**Could be catchier.]