February 2012
2 posts
January 2012
7 posts
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"Skunked," A Short Play In One Act
A 7-11 at 5:15 a.m.
Guy Buying A Half-Dozen 4 oz. Bottles Of Hydrogen Peroxide at a 7-11 at 5:15 a.m.: My dog just got skunked.
7-11 Cashier: [no response, rings up bottles]
Guy Buying A Half-Dozen 4 oz. Bottles Of Hydrogen Peroxide at a 7-11 at 5:15 a.m.: I’m not making meth!
7-11 Cashier: [no response, places bottles in plastic bag]
The guy takes his bag of peroxide bottles and...
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“2:40 Just an observation, but I guess in 2012 no one flies around the stage on...”
– The 14-Year-Old Me Liveblogs the New Van Halen Video
December 2011
12 posts
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Horn, A Christmas Tale
Pssst said the mall Santa.
Yeah I said.
Pssst I leaned in closer.
He lifted up his Santa hat.
Underneath was a peppermint horn atop his head.
Wanna lick it said mall Santa.
I dunno I said.
No you are naughty said mall Santa.
He covered the peppermint horn with his Santa hat.
Get off my lap said mall Santa.
I got off his lap.
As I walked away Pssst again.
He showed me...
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Daddy, A Very Short And Poignant Holiday Play
Twentysomething Guy On A Cellphone, Leaning Against A Wall And Bent Far Forward As If To Create A Tiny Space For Privacy, On A Hollywood Side-Street On A Rainy Night: Hi, honey. Do you miss Daddy?
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“Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets...”
– That’s so money.
Derek Jeter sends off his one night stands with a signed memorabilia - NYPOST.com
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Thinking Out Loud About Recent Events At The...
1. Marlins sign Jose Reyes, ask Hanley Ramirez to change position to 3B.
2. Hanley Ramirez says he doesn’t want to change positions. Doesn’t ask to be traded, but doesn’t NOT ask to be traded.
3. Yankees trade Manny Banuelos, Austin Romine (or Gary Sanchez) and two high-level prospects for Hanley Ramirez. But not Jesus Montero. Well, maybe Jesus Montero, but no. No. No, not...
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“(*) If Ryan Murphy were running “Boardwalk Empire,” for instance,...”
– Also, Jimmy would have fatally sodomized The Commodore with that spear.
Review: Boardwalk Empire - Under Gods Power, She Flourishes: I want my mommy! - HitFix.com
November 2011
6 posts
2 tags
Great Moments in Baseball Journalism, Continued
Dan Shaughnessy:
I reached Lucchino briefly in his office this morning. He said he couldn’t talk to me. He said there would be no announcement today.
Dial tone.
I followed that up with, ‘‘Do you have any comment on how indecisive this makes you guys look?’’
‘‘Goodbye, Dan,’’ he answered. ‘‘Nice to talk to you.’’
Click.
[via Rob Neyer, Great Moments in Journalism]
I rang him...
WatchEveryone on Earth needs to watch this.
alexblagg:
“Drive-Thru” (official movie trailer)
It’s like “Drive”, except more delicious.
(dir. by Matthew Michaud, co-starring saraliz, edited by Terry Huynh)
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October 2011
12 posts
3 tags
This Is How I Picture An Antony & The Johnsons...
One person sits on a rusty folding chair in an abandoned grade-school parking lot, while a filthy, beat-up ice cream truck slowly circles him, blaring “Ghost” through its tinny speaker. Every once in a while Antony slides open the serving window, revealing that he’s executing a Jame Gumb-style penile tuck maneuver and wearing a shorty robe made of over-tanned old-lady skin. Just...
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LQ EasyTechGuide: Should You Upgrade To The iPhone... →
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LQ EasyTechGuide: Should You Upgrade To The iPhone...
The iPhone 4S arrives Friday for pre-orderers lucky enough to beat the online rush, and the cutting-edge, i0S5-enabled handsets will soon be in the greedy mitts of everyone you know. Still, the question remains: Should you upgrade? Here’s our helpful guide:
For iPhone 4 owners:
You just bought an iPhone last year, so you are likely not eligible for a carrier-subsidized upgrade. But the...
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The Types Of People You Meet At An Introductory...
* Guy Wearing Shirt Of His Favorite Obscure Microbrewery (in California)
* Guy Who Loves Beer So Much He Audibly Gasps At Malt Being Added To Giant Pot Of Boiling Water
* Guy Wearing Shirt Of An Even More Obscure Microbrewery (in Portland)
* Guy Feverishly Taking Notes On Everything
* Girlfriend Barely Humoring Boyfriend
* Girlfriend Actually More Into Home Brewing Idea Than Boyfriend
* Guy...
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Selected Occupations Of X-Factor Contestants From...
* Secretary
* Horse Trainer
* Air Conditioner Repair
* Unemployed
* Preschool Student
* Burrito Folder
* Incest Survivor
* Fishmonger
* Tooth Whitener
* Goat Whisperer
* Arcade Fire Understudy
* Foot Fetishist
* Mail-Order Bride
* Unemployed
* Osmond
* 99-Percenter
* Bridge Troll
* Despot-in-Exile
* Freelance Poet
* Bob Dylan
* Train-Jumper
* Unemployed
* Searcher
*...
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Buying and selling, man. Buying and selling. →
September 2011
7 posts
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Rejected Titles for Anderson Cooper's New Daytime...
* Anderson Cooper
* Andy
* Cooper’s Corner
* Cooptime
* The Coop
* On the Stoop with Coop
* Hangin’ With Mr. Anderson
* Anderson Cooper 180
* Fuck You, Nancy Grace
* The AC
* Seriously, Do Not Mistake My Girlish Giggles For Weakness, Nancy Grace, I Will Bite Off Your Face And Sell It To Gypsies If You Push Me
* Cooprah
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August 2011
6 posts
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Selected Scenes From Betty and Bobby Draper's...
A new actor will assume the role of Don and Betty’s son, Bobby, since Jared Gilmore opted to take a series-regular role on ABC’s new Once Upon a Time instead of the seven episodes Mad Men offered. Jared’s advice for his replacement: “Be careful around January [Jones]. She’s not as approachable as the others. She’s really serious about what she does. Everyone...