2008
May
stephenfalk: Too much.
May 12th
A theory on economic indicators I've...
The health of the economy is inversely proportional to the cleanliness and organization of your...
May 11th
My new favorite website, for at least the next two hours.
May 8th
David Blaine: The Seventh (And Final) Day Sad news, David...
May 7th
At Least I Didn't Pitch "Demographically...
spiegelman: listen close and you can hear my soul dying I just wrote, in a powerpoint...
May 7th
You can only piss in my eye sockets so many times before I...
— Island Zero on how the Peter...
May 6th
The Grove II: Glendale’s Revenge has two fountains...
May 6th
We now pause for a very important Public Service...
May 6th
David Blaine: Day Three! As we approach the 72-hour mark...
May 2nd
Game over.
jessicacoen: This is why the internet exists. This is why we do it. Special-Needs Monkey...
May 2nd
David Blaine Stunt Update!
An absolutely astounding eighteen-plus hours later, David Blaine’s daredevil photo has yet to...
May 1st
Celebrity Daredevil David Blaine Doing...
Unimpressed by frequently soggy illusionist/supermodel despoiler David Blaine’s shattering of...
May 1st
Apr
I don’t want that to happen. I put 40 years of hard work...
— Kissing Suzy Kolber tries to...
Apr 30th
The Obligatory GTA IV Post
Easily the most offensive gameplay feature in Grand Theft Auto IV is the one where the player can...
Apr 30th
$4? Whatever. We’re going all the way to 10 bucks a...
Apr 28th
A Note On Late Night Tumblspotting
One of the things I like to do when I suddenly realize I’m still awake at 1:30 in the morning...
Apr 25th
Watch
The nice ladies who bought up all the dresses from the Olsen’s Mercantile sale rack make an...
Apr 25th
Great Moments In Creative Differences
“The trouble started Wednesday on the first of Caan’s two days of shooting the role of a...
Apr 23rd
Your Obligatory Tuesday Night 'Idol'...
The Pope’s surprise performance of “Call Me Rusty”* from Starlight Express on...
Apr 23rd
If Kellogg’s has anything to say about it, Indiana...
Apr 21st
Bernie Williams Was Always My Favorite...
Apr 18th
A Note On Tonight's 'Colbert Report'...
This is what I found when I went to search for a clip of Hillary Clinton’s charmingly* robotic...
Apr 18th
Oh, And One More Thing About That...
…is there any way to add some blood to the horn? Clearly, any unicorns rampaging through a...
Apr 17th
Watch
Pico and Sepulveda wouldn’t even make the list of my ten favorite intersections (topped, of...
Apr 17th
Dear internets: Please request a reprint of this t-shirt so...
Apr 17th
Be Honest
The scythe-bearing harvester of souls appearing in the mirror in the below Garfield Minus Garfield,...
Apr 15th
Garfield Minus Garfield, Plus Grim Reaper: the third...
Apr 14th
In the Spirit Of "Suck It, Earl...
I lost three balls over fences during 9 holes of par-3 “pitch and putt” golf today.
Apr 12th
Upon Reflection
…maybe that previous post was a little dark. I just haven’t been this torn up since last...
Apr 11th
The Chundered From Down Under
If it feels a little like he’s dead, it’s because he is. They’ll tell you the...
Apr 11th
A Note On "A Note On"
It’s recently been brought to my attention that far too many posts here begin with “A...
Apr 10th
A Note On Last Night's 'Idol Gives...
I haven’t watched it yet. Please be considerate and don’t spoil it for me by revealing...
Apr 10th
Sometimes people ask me what I’m up to. You know, a...
Apr 10th
A Note On The Previous Post, Which...
It’s not that I’m particularly impressed with tonight’s performance, it’s...
Apr 9th
A Note On Tonight's Bowling Scores
168 and 170. Suck it, Earl Anthony.* [*This is the only pro bowler name I’ve ever known.]
Apr 9th
Wherein George Clooney's Use Of A Fancy...
I’m only a paragraph into this Clooney piece, and I’ve already learned he has a...
Apr 8th
A Note On A Good Toilet Read, Ruined
All of the online chatter regarding the George Clooney profile in the current New Yorker is really...
Apr 7th
Fucking Rad
Indeed.
Apr 4th
This is as close as I got to my 1.5 seconds of Price of...
Apr 4th
Because I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure...
— Jerry Seinfeld cheats death,...
Apr 3rd
'American Idol' Bonus Post! My Top Three...
1. 4’ 7” 2. “Like, yo big” (holds out hand at waist level, pauses for a...
Apr 3rd
A Note On The Previous Two Posts RE:...
The remote is waaaaaay on the other side of the couch, and I am far too lazy to reach over there to...
Apr 3rd
An 'Idol Gives Back' Fun Fact
30 percent of the proceeds generated by the annual American Idol Gives Back special are earmarked...
Apr 3rd
If There Were An Emmy Handed Out For...
…it would surely go to this effort from tonight’s Moment of Truth finale: “Coming...
Apr 3rd
Even while buzzed on free luxury suite* beer, the...
Apr 2nd
It’s not like you’d know who my dad was.
— Super-high-maintenance...
Apr 1st
Brian Grazer has a posse. (Where do I get one of these?)
Apr 1st
Mar
nathangotsch: in the bathroom at Kevin James’ production...
Mar 28th
A Note On The Previous Post Re:...
Not that I would ever do that! HAHAHAHA.
Mar 27th
How To Sound Like An Internetty Jackass...
1. When trying to explain to someone what a Tumblr is, refer to most of the nonsense that you post...
Mar 27th
Mere moments after the deadly Royal Dandie piglet nipped the...
Mar 26th
The stunt provoked a variety of reactions. Many older...
— RIP, the Rickroll. Sadly,...
Mar 24th
Another Observation About 'Keeping Up...
The Kardashian girls are as shouty as they are busty. Thrilling Bonus K.U.W.T.K. Fun Fact:...
Mar 24th
ITHACA, NY—After weeks of being sleepy all the time and...
— There’s usually little...
Mar 24th
A Modest Proposal
There should be an entire cable channel that plays nothing but Tracy Morgan talk show appearances....
Mar 20th
garfield minus garfield, plus grim reaper: Why Not Do The...
Mar 20th
garfield minus garfield, plus grim reaper
Mar 20th
Stuff Both White "Urbane Tomboys" And...
Wearing giant blankets.
Mar 20th
Handsome Hollywood Actor Vs. Two Girls, One...
Mar 19th
Watch
Anonymous proves that nothing is off limits in their crusade against Scientology by unleashing this...
Mar 18th
[Place Obligatory Cursed Spinal Tap Drummer...
Mar 18th
Quite Possibly The Greatest Thing I've...
Mar 17th
A Very Brief Review Of The First Two...
Needs more Rome-style disembowelings.
Mar 17th
A Follow-Up To The Previous Post Re: The...
It makes me so very sad that the once-mighty Who Wants To Sex Mutombo? site has been reduced to...
Mar 15th
Who Wants To Sex(ily Imitate) Mutombo?
Yeah, that’s right, I said “sexily imitate.” Excuse me for being a little too...
Mar 15th
This is the best birthday EVER EVER EVER EVER. I mean EVER!
— TC (Must they always play the...
Mar 14th
A Note On The Previous Post Regarding...
Just a little thing I’m trying out to expand the finance/business-related offerings of this...
Mar 14th
Someone Still Loves You, Harrison Ford
Mar 14th
Debt Collectors Now Eschewing Broken Kneecaps...
Mar 14th
The Five Most Troubling Facebook Status...
1. Joy Davis just punched a hamster for no good reason at all. [4 hours ago] 2. Rob Noguchi is...
Mar 13th
Spring Training Injury of the Week
Felix Pie’s testicular torsion, narrowly beating out Kaz Matsui’s anal fissures....
Mar 12th
Posting this probably disqualifies me from winning exciting...
Mar 11th
TORNABO!
Mar 10th
I’m a karaoke host, I know people.
— Some chick on the show where...
Mar 10th
Re: The Previous Three...
I fear my ill-advised watching of five minutes of The Kardashians has made me severely retarded.
Mar 10th
Take The Lisanti Quarterly/Kardashians...
Which ample rump belongs to the proprietor of this tumblspot, and which is the iconic, junk-hauling...
Mar 10th
Kickin' It With The Kardashians, British...
This is what it looks like if you insert a photo of a hooded Queen Elizabeth into E! Online’s...
Mar 10th
Some Passing Observations About...
1. Kim is busty. 2. Khloe is chesty. 3. Kourtney* is buxom. 4. It’s obvious that Bruce...
Mar 10th
Tomorrow: Clinton's Camp Releases Photo...
[via bullshit]
Mar 6th
True Story
“Bobby Trendy added you as a friend on Facebook.”
Mar 6th
Kabob Party!
Curiosity got the better of me: This is the first Google Image result for “kabob...
Mar 4th
On Second Thought...
…there is something sadder than the preceding “kabob party” post: the fact that I...
Mar 4th
A Note On The Depressing Contents Of My...
Is there anything sadder in this world than looking at two unopened 100-count packs of bamboo...
Mar 4th
Feb
ESPN is now outsourcing all whiteboard work to a second...
Feb 29th
The Perfect Weapon
I once attempted this song at karaoke. There were no survivors. [via Kotaku]
Feb 27th
A Note On The Current State Of My...
Sanguine: rising Choleric: subsiding Melancholic: subsiding Phlegmatic: mostly unchanged; slight...
Feb 26th
I have even less to say than usual and I am posting to this...
— Mark Lisanti
Feb 26th
Don't Look Back, Daniel Day Lewis, For...
[someecards]
Feb 23rd
I'm Not Ashamed To Admit It...
…I’m a honky and I love expensive sandwiches. [This post fulfills my Bloggers Compact...
Feb 23rd
A Note On Tonight's Pizza
40 minutes. This is nothing short of a disaster. I nearly told the tardy Dominos guy that if he...
Feb 22nd
A Question
Why is that Simon Cowell so mean all the time? You’d think a guy who gets to spend so many of...
Feb 20th
Wherein I Describe The Pretentious...
Me, reflected several times in various surfaces of that giant Jeff Koons sculpture of a balloon...
Feb 20th
Feb 20th
Meet RoboBar, your automaton enabler.
Feb 18th
It Gets So Very Lonely On The Island On...
Feb 15th
Tumblspotting 101: Never Let A Pizza...
If I don’t post something here quickly, everyone’s going to think nothing more...
Feb 14th
An Uncomfortable Time-Travel Question...
If they have time-travel technology, why didn’t they deliver my order 5 minutes before I...
Feb 13th
An Update On The Earlier Note RE:...
The pizza arrived 18 minutes after I placed my online order. I suspect that the team responsible for...
Feb 13th
A Note On Tonight's Dinner
I am not exaggerating at all when I tell you that the Dominos Pizza Tracker may be the most...
Feb 13th
What I’m watching on TV—right now!!! (When I...
Feb 12th
Wherein I Explain Why The Previous Super...
Because Ron Paul, despite being very popular on the internets*, is not faring very well in the...
Feb 6th
Super Tuesday
I have a really good feeling about this Ron Paul person.
Feb 6th
I'm Not Getting A Twitter. You Can...
No way.
Feb 1st
I wrote the words that appear in this space. Also: these...
— Lisanti
Feb 1st
Watch
Friends, meet this year’s two American Idol finalists.
Feb 1st
I'm Already Sick Of This Thing
And I’m not going to give this asshole the satisfaction of taking a picture of his picture of...
Feb 1st
Wherein I Reveal What Makes The Previous...
Internet Explorer? Really? You think I’d ever use that shit? Think again, pally.
Feb 1st
DOWN THE TUMBL HOLE
Feb 1st
Tumbl Like No One's Watching
I may never write on this thing again, but I felt shamed into starting one by crushing...
Feb 1st