2008

stephenfalk: Too much.

A theory on economic indicators I've...

The health of the economy is inversely proportional to the cleanliness and organization of your...

My new favorite website, for at least the next two hours.

David Blaine: The Seventh (And Final) Day Sad news, David...

At Least I Didn't Pitch "Demographically...

spiegelman:  listen close and you can hear my soul dying I just wrote, in a powerpoint...

“You can only piss in my eye sockets so many times before I...”
— Island Zero on how the Peter...

The Grove II: Glendale’s Revenge has two fountains...

We now pause for a very important Public Service...

David Blaine: Day Three! As we approach the 72-hour mark...

Game over.

jessicacoen: This is why the internet exists. This is why we do it. Special-Needs Monkey...

David Blaine Stunt Update!

An absolutely astounding eighteen-plus hours later, David Blaine’s daredevil photo has yet to...

Celebrity Daredevil David Blaine Doing...

Unimpressed by frequently soggy illusionist/supermodel despoiler David Blaine’s shattering of...

“I don’t want that to happen. I put 40 years of hard work...”
— Kissing Suzy Kolber tries to...

The Obligatory GTA IV Post

Easily the most offensive gameplay feature in Grand Theft Auto IV is the one where the player can...

$4? Whatever. We’re going all the way to 10 bucks a...

A Note On Late Night Tumblspotting

One of the things I like to do when I suddenly realize I’m still awake at 1:30 in the morning...

Great Moments In Creative Differences

“The trouble started Wednesday on the first of Caan’s two days of shooting the role of a...

Your Obligatory Tuesday Night 'Idol'...

The Pope’s surprise performance of  “Call Me Rusty”* from Starlight Express on...

If Kellogg’s has anything to say about it, Indiana...

Bernie Williams Was Always My Favorite...

A Note On Tonight's 'Colbert Report'...

This is what I found when I went to search for a clip of Hillary Clinton’s charmingly* robotic...

Oh, And One More Thing About That...

…is there any way to add some blood to the horn? Clearly, any unicorns rampaging through a...

Dear internets: Please request a reprint of this t-shirt so...

Be Honest

The scythe-bearing harvester of souls appearing in the mirror in the below Garfield Minus Garfield,...

Garfield Minus Garfield, Plus Grim Reaper: the third...

In the Spirit Of "Suck It, Earl...

I lost three balls over fences during 9 holes of par-3 “pitch and putt” golf today.

Upon Reflection

…maybe that previous post was a little dark. I just haven’t been this torn up since last...

The Chundered From Down Under

If it feels a little like he’s dead, it’s because he is. They’ll tell you the...

A Note On "A Note On"

It’s recently been brought to my attention that far too many posts here begin with “A...

A Note On Last Night's 'Idol Gives...

I haven’t watched it yet. Please be considerate and don’t spoil it for me by revealing...

Sometimes people ask me what I’m up to. You know, a...

A Note On The Previous Post, Which...

It’s not that I’m particularly impressed with tonight’s performance, it’s...

A Note On Tonight's Bowling Scores

168 and 170. Suck it, Earl Anthony.* [*This is the only pro bowler name I’ve ever known.] 

Wherein George Clooney's Use Of A Fancy...

I’m only a paragraph into this Clooney piece, and I’ve already learned he has a...

A Note On A Good Toilet Read, Ruined

All of the online chatter regarding the George Clooney profile in the current New Yorker is really...

Fucking Rad

Indeed.

This is as close as I got to my 1.5 seconds of Price of...

“Because I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure...”
— Jerry Seinfeld cheats death,...

'American Idol' Bonus Post! My Top Three...

1. 4’ 7” 2. “Like, yo big” (holds out hand at waist level, pauses for a...

A Note On The Previous Two Posts RE:...

The remote is waaaaaay on the other side of the couch, and I am far too lazy to reach over there to...

An 'Idol Gives Back' Fun Fact

30 percent of the proceeds generated by the annual American Idol Gives Back special are earmarked...

If There Were An Emmy Handed Out For...

…it would surely go to this effort from tonight’s Moment of Truth finale: “Coming...

Even while buzzed on free luxury suite* beer, the...

“It’s not like you’d know who my dad was.”
— Super-high-maintenance...

Brian Grazer has a posse. (Where do I get one of these?)

nathangotsch: in the bathroom at Kevin James’ production...

A Note On The Previous Post Re:...

Not that I would ever do that! HAHAHAHA.

How To Sound Like An Internetty Jackass...

1. When trying to explain to someone what a Tumblr is, refer to most of the nonsense that you post...

Mere moments after the deadly Royal Dandie piglet nipped the...

“The stunt provoked a variety of reactions. Many older...”
— RIP, the Rickroll. Sadly,...

Another Observation About 'Keeping Up...

The Kardashian girls are as shouty as they are busty. Thrilling Bonus K.U.W.T.K. Fun Fact:...

“ITHACA, NY—After weeks of being sleepy all the time and...”
— There’s usually little...

A Modest Proposal

There should be an entire cable channel that plays nothing but Tracy Morgan talk show appearances....

garfield minus garfield, plus grim reaper: Why Not Do The...

garfield minus garfield, plus grim reaper

Stuff Both White "Urbane Tomboys" And...

Wearing giant blankets. 

Handsome Hollywood Actor Vs. Two Girls, One...

[Place Obligatory Cursed Spinal Tap Drummer...

Quite Possibly The Greatest Thing I've...

A Very Brief Review Of The First Two...

Needs more Rome-style disembowelings.

A Follow-Up To The Previous Post Re: The...

It makes me so very sad that the once-mighty Who Wants To Sex Mutombo? site has been reduced to...

Who Wants To Sex(ily Imitate) Mutombo?

Yeah, that’s right, I said “sexily imitate.” Excuse me for being a little too...

“This is the best birthday EVER EVER EVER EVER. I mean EVER!”
— TC  (Must they always play the...

A Note On The Previous Post Regarding...

Just a little thing I’m trying out to expand the finance/business-related offerings of this...

Someone Still Loves You, Harrison Ford

Debt Collectors Now Eschewing Broken Kneecaps...

The Five Most Troubling Facebook Status...

1. Joy Davis just punched a hamster for no good reason at all.  [4 hours ago]  2. Rob Noguchi is...

Spring Training Injury of the Week

Felix Pie’s testicular torsion, narrowly beating out Kaz Matsui’s anal fissures....

Posting this probably disqualifies me from winning exciting...

TORNABO!

“I’m a karaoke host, I know people.”
— Some chick on the show where...

Re: The Previous Three...

I fear my ill-advised watching of five minutes of The Kardashians has made me severely retarded.

Take The Lisanti Quarterly/Kardashians...

Which ample rump belongs to the proprietor of this tumblspot, and which is the iconic, junk-hauling...

Kickin' It With The Kardashians, British...

This is what it looks like if you insert a photo of a hooded Queen Elizabeth into E! Online’s...

Some Passing Observations About...

1. Kim is busty. 2. Khloe is chesty. 3. Kourtney* is buxom. 4. It’s obvious that Bruce...

Tomorrow: Clinton's Camp Releases Photo...

[via bullshit] 

True Story

“Bobby Trendy added you as a friend on Facebook.”

Kabob Party!

Curiosity got the better of me: This is the first Google Image result for “kabob...

On Second Thought...

…there is something sadder than the preceding “kabob party” post: the fact that I...

A Note On The Depressing Contents Of My...

Is there anything sadder in this world than looking at two unopened 100-count packs of bamboo...

ESPN is now outsourcing all whiteboard work to a second...

The Perfect Weapon

I once attempted this song at karaoke. There were no survivors. [via Kotaku]

A Note On The Current State Of My...

  Sanguine: rising Choleric: subsiding Melancholic: subsiding Phlegmatic: mostly unchanged; slight...

“I have even less to say than usual and I am posting to this...”
— Mark Lisanti

Don't Look Back, Daniel Day Lewis, For...

[someecards] 

I'm Not Ashamed To Admit It...

…I’m a honky and I love expensive sandwiches. [This post fulfills my Bloggers Compact...

A Note On Tonight's Pizza

40 minutes. This is nothing short of a disaster. I nearly told the tardy Dominos guy that if he...

A Question

Why is that Simon Cowell so mean all the time? You’d think a guy who gets to spend so many of...

Wherein I Describe The Pretentious...

Me, reflected several times in various surfaces of that giant Jeff Koons sculpture of a balloon...

Meet RoboBar, your automaton enabler.

It Gets So Very Lonely On The Island On...

Tumblspotting 101: Never Let A Pizza...

If I don’t post something here quickly, everyone’s going to think nothing more...

An Uncomfortable Time-Travel Question...

If they have time-travel technology, why didn’t they deliver my order 5 minutes before I...

An Update On The Earlier Note RE:...

The pizza arrived 18 minutes after I placed my online order. I suspect that the team responsible for...

A Note On Tonight's Dinner

I am not exaggerating at all when I tell you that the Dominos Pizza Tracker may be the most...

What I’m watching on TV—right now!!! (When I...

Wherein I Explain Why The Previous Super...

Because Ron Paul, despite being very popular on the internets*, is not faring very well in the...

Super Tuesday

I have a really good feeling about this Ron Paul person.

I'm Not Getting A Twitter. You Can...

No way.

“I wrote the words that appear in this space. Also: these...”
— Lisanti

I'm Already Sick Of This Thing

And I’m not going to give this asshole the satisfaction of taking a picture of his picture of...

Wherein I Reveal What Makes The Previous...

Internet Explorer? Really? You think I’d ever use that shit? Think again, pally. 

DOWN THE TUMBL HOLE

Tumbl Like No One's Watching

I may never write on this thing again, but I felt shamed into starting one by crushing...